just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
