yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
