We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
