I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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