I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
