What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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