I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
