pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
babies were throwing up all over the place
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
