my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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