so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
