i think my mom watched the whole time
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
