I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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