Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
