The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
