"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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