Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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