Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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