He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
