Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
