absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
