; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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