i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
