Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
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What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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