I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize