Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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