Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im holly from the hills drunk
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
