i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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