Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Is it penis luge time yet?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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