watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
