i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
