Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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