you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
