i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
