around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I will pee on everything he values.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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