So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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