Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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