Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
