We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
