i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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