So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize