The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
