My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
