I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
