when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
vagina is talking i cant
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
