Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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