How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
