Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
