I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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