get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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