Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
