if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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