His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize