Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
