There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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