Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
