Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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