If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
