Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize