I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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