My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
