Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize