There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
