id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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